Second-Hand Best

Have you ever received anyone's hand-me-downs?  I am my parents' youngest daughter and was very accustomed to wearing and playing with hand-me-downs as a child.  Three of my own daughters commonly receive a mixture of brand new and new-to-them clothing and toys from their older sister.  My girls are always excited about and grateful for their seasonal clothing rotation and toy organization.  They do not care that clothing store tags are missing or that toys have already been removed from their original packaging.

Each new and previously-owned gift is welcomed with equal amounts of gratitude and excitement.  The newest acquisitions soon become some of the girls' favorites and provide just as much delight and entertainment as anything else costing double the price.  My girls' gratitude is in abundant supply, no matter the item's origin or value.

I have much to learn from my children.

I received a box jam-packed with white, plastic hangers from a person who does not value me and considers me socially and financially beneath her.  I knew, just knew her intention was to keep me feeling inferior.  She maliciously chose me from her list of possible recipients because she knew I would crumble under the weight of my insecurity and self-doubt.

I did crumble, not because anything I described about her is true, but because I allowed my insecurities and self-doubt to convince me they were.  Surrounded by mounds of incoming new-to-us clothing, I stood in the middle of my baby's closet crumbling beneath the heavy lies.

Truthfully, the hand-me-down hangers were identical to those already hanging in my children's closets.  I had already purchased the exact type of hangers with our family's money for our family's use.  So why did receiving them from someone else uncover such a raw place in my heart?  Honestly, the matching hangers were much more pleasing to my perfectionist self than mismatching ones would have been.  And not surprising at all, we needed hangers.  The box of someone else's leftovers or no-longer-needs fulfilled a tangible need for our household, but it revealed to me a devastating lie I was holding deep in my heart: I am second-hand best.

It is not every day that I battle feelings of being less than, but the enemy's stronghold can be suffocating on the worst days.  Before escaping from its smothering grip, I can convince myself that another wife can love my husband better.  That another mother can care for my children better.  That another woman can share Christ's love with those around me better.  That used hangers are all I deserve.  That hand-me-downs no longer good enough for someone else are good enough for someone less than... like me.

The enemy knew I was vulnerable and relentlessly attacked my aching heart.  New, heaping tears welled in my eyes with each hanger I hung on the closet rod.  I accepted defeat and believed a falsehood about my value with each additional piece of clothing arranged amongst the others.  Adding another used hanger to the rod further chipped away at my spirit and built up in me a misconception that the box giver's intention was to send me into a sad and emotional place.

Friend, reader of these words, is it possible you also believe the devil's lie about you?  Are your deeply-embedded feelings of "less than" tricking you into believing you are second-hand best?  I know that it has nothing to do with things, though.  Hangers may just be the vehicle for the consuming negativity to set in.  It is about feeling insufficient.  Unimportant.  Unusable.

Before you suffocate within the enemy's grip, let me share with you some of the truest and most beautiful words you may read here: Jesus chooses you.  Jesus will choose you over the ninety-nine others, every single time.  He will leave the rest of us in pursuit of his beloved, you, whenever you stray or feel lost.  Not because you purchase brand new hangers.  Not because you are the giver or recipient of hand-me-down hangers.  But because you are immeasurably cherished by our Father.

For as long as you feel lost and invaluable, Jesus will relentlessly pursue you.  For as long as you search for your identity and worth, you will see your flawless reflection in him.  Equip yourself with the truth before you are given a box of hand-me-downs full of the enemy's deception.


"For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them."
Ezekiel 34:11 (NIV)

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