Pardon the Disruption: An “Apologetic” Letter to the People at the Grocery Store

We are wrapping up the second month of this adventure called "Having Three Kids," spending a good portion of our days entrenched in the woes of colic with our newborn.  I have read all the articles and am barely surviving grudgingly practicing an elimination diet (I realize now, second to my husband, how deeply I. love. cheese.), but Little Miss is still relatively unhappy.  Her two levels of crying are loud and LOUDER and, while I know the specialized diet has offered her some relief, she is sometimes so discontent that even swaddling or Mama's bouncing or Daddy's soothing voice cannot calm her.  This third, precious baby of ours strips me of my confidence, drains my (already-waning) energy, and makes me feel so isolated from the outside world that walking to the mailbox and taking out the trash feels like freedom.

Today's trip to the grocery store, with the little one and biggest sister in-tow, solidified just why I have been so anxious to leave the house.  The baby screamed.  Her wails attracted the unwanted attention of many shoppers and prompted a few of you to actually speak your thoughts.

"That's one unhappy baby."
"I bet she's hungry."
"Did you pinch her?"

I know my hair was messy, and maybe you knew I wasn't able to shower today, but trust me
—I checked all the boxes on the "Baby Needs" list before venturing into society.  Sometimes, there is no hope of consoling her, and your commentary was not constructive or encouraging for this mama's already-weary spirit.  I am (kind of) sorry the soundtrack to your errand included my screaming baby, but I weathered the circumstances and walked out of my house today to breathe unstuffy air and to feel "normal" again.  Instead, I spent my temporary escape dodging remarks from people who don't know me from Eve.

Why is it so easy for society to speak up in criticism but remain silent in encouragement and praise?  Why does society pummel the parents at the gorilla exhibit, instead of praising God that a child's life was spared?  Why do grocery store shoppers feel comfortable enough criticizing my circumstances (unintentionally or otherwise), instead of offering encouragement or just remaining silent?

There are days that mamas need to breathe unstuffy air and crave to feel "normal," even if that means braving the grocery store with an unhappy baby.  Give her grace.  Smile at her.  Say a silent prayer for her.  Do not criticize her.  Do not trample her already-weary spirit.  New mamas, seasoned mamas, young mamas, old mamas all need encouragement and grace.  If you cannot offer it, pick up a loaf of bread from the grocery store shelf and move on.